The emergence of hints of salt and pepper in my hair, shaky (but thankfully in control) mental health, aching knees, and a general disdain for most things in life, I’m beginning to feel the 28 years I’ve lived on this Earth. 28 years is not a long time and all for intents and purposes, I am a young man in the prime of my life.
It is a bit puzzling then, when I find myself wondering whether I am going through a mid-life crisis three years after my quarter-life crisis. Somehow, I know I am not alone. If there are others out there who have given my thoughts and writing a chance, those are the others I identify with. If I can wager a guess on the kinds of people who are most engaged with my writing, its people going through the same feeling of existential dread and stress at an age when society expects you to be at your peak.
And so once again I embark on a journey within the mind to seek out an answer. Why do so many 20 somethings feel like they are a burnt-out middle-aged man two stressful days away from a stroke?
Unlike my other thought adventures, this one is less arduous and complex. The answer comes to me straightaway.
Sex. The lack of it, the abundance of it, the pursuit of it. Sex is the cause of the early onset of a mid-life crisis.
To be clear, I believe it is not the physical act of sex but rather everything that surrounds the attainment of it that causes so much unhappiness in the world. The way we view the simple act of sexual intercourse is also a giant testimony to the utter stupidity humanity is sometimes capable of.
If I am losing my audience at this point, allow me to elaborate a little further.
In most of the animal kingdom, sexual intercourse is strictly a means of propagating the species. Of course, I am not a scientific expert in matters of sexual conduct across the animal kingdom, but from the little I have gleaned from anecdotal observations and late-night viewing of BBC nature documentaries, it is a fair statement to make.
Humans, far more than any other related species, have sexual intercourse for the pleasure they derive from it. In the human context, sex is therefore a pleasurable act which if done responsibly is all fun and games, and if done thoughtfully and accurately, also helps in conception and propagation of species. Seems innocuous, doesn’t it? If you break it down in this way, it appears to be no more than what it is: a basic bodily function and need. No different than breathing, growing hair or sweating.
Now, lets examine the impact sexual intercourse has had on human civilization. Abortion laws, sexual misconduct, rape, voyeurism, dating apps, matrimonial apps, LGBTQ+ rights, the list of social issues, products and priorities centered around human carnal relationships is expansive to the point of being horrifying. It also has a significant impact at the individual level. Having a rich and active sexual life is viewed as a sign of social prowess, shadowing everything else that a person may consider material to their well-being. I cannot even begin to imagine what asexual people feel growing up and navigating a sex-crazy world.
I think we have exalted sexual intercourse to a position far higher than it needs to be on the list of human civilization’s priorities.
We have created fear and terror around it, which has made it even more desirable in the eyes of the rebels. The fear and terror have fueled the taboo, which in turn has starved scores of individuals from a healthy and responsible sex life. We do not teach it accurately in our schools for fear of corrupting young minds, we still segregate schools by gender for fear of mutual arousal and attraction. We have demonized an innocuous human act. What has all this led to?
Violent crimes against women by sex-starved men. Accidental pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases by uninformed teenagers. Stringent views and laws on abortion that infringe on basic human rights of freedom. Commodification of humans through dating apps. Bitter hate towards the non-heterosexual community. Demeaning of people with less active sexual lives.
Driving cars irresponsibly can cause harm and loss of life. Driving cars relentlessly is already damaging our planet and climate. Owning guns without proper reason or training most certainly causes harm. Yet, we do not demonize these things nearly as much as we demonize sex. And herein lies the pinnacle of humanity’s utmost stupidity.
Why do we demonize and stigmatize an innocuous primal act but coolly accept so many other things that are far more harmful to us if done incorrectly or irresponsibly?
That is a hard question to unpack and answer, but I believe that the simplest answer is often the truest. My guess would be that somewhere back in time, cunning and evil men realized that controlling sex controls the people.
I believe that solving the global sexual crisis, if I may be bold enough to coin such a term, lies in upending the powers that be. The powers that be have, by controlling a primal human urge, shaped an atrocious society where victims of rape are blamed for the crime committed against them. The powers that be have used sex to create a global imbalance between the sexes.
A truly advanced society should revere the elegance of the female form and its abilities, not subjugate it. Promote and sustain equality, not stymie it.
The less you subjugate something, the more it thrives. In a world where sex was accepted as an innocuous human act, sex itself would be far more advanced and mature. It would be scientifically researched and understood more widely, leading to advances in medicine and technology whose positive impacts we cannot even begin to fathom. Who’s to say that increased research won’t lead to the development of contraceptive methods free of any side effects in the distant future? I would wager that there is a good chance that a clean, safe and 100% effective contraceptive would be as widely available as sparkling water in a world where sex was not treated like taboo.
Can you imagine the wonders that could lead to? Sexually transmitted diseases would be a thing of the past. Children would only be born when they were desired. No broken dreams. No broken homes. No broken people. A healthier, happier world. A more compassionate world. Simply changing our attitude towards sex could transform the world.
Of course, I have no way of guaranteeing that such a miracle solution could even exist in a world where we thought of sex differently. But even if there is the slightest chance, I think humanity should take it.
